DATE:
Wednesday, 11.27.2013
TO:
Commissioner S. Claus
(aka Pere Noel, Kris K., Jolly Old St. Nick, the Big Man Himself)
FROM:
Committee on the Ethical Distribution of Christmas Cheer 3.0
SUBJECT:
David and Elizabeth Smith Family Christmas 2013 Status
Most
honorable, venerable Commissioner of Naughty and Nice,
Three years have come and gone since we,
the Committee on the Ethical Distribution of Christmas Cheer, last conducted a
full assessment of the Smith Family. As a recap, they not only obtained Nice status, but became the pinnacle of
all Niceness from that point forward. In impressive fashion, they
managed to raise the bar for Niceness to unbelievable heights, rendering it
almost impossible for others to follow suit (Amazingly this was paralleled by
their equal growth in humility). Due to this unforeseen development, the
committee was asked to again scrutinize extremely closely, once and for all,
the Smith clan. They did not disappoint. Included is the evidence we uncovered
during the past 11 months that displays the sheer magnitude of their Niceness.
We seek your approval, since the ultimate decision requires a higher pay grade
than we possess.
Name
(nickname): Cambria
(Beauty, Sweetest)
Age: 16
months Occupation: Most adorable
angel this side of heaven
Likes: Babies,
bears, smiling, giggling, squealing, snuggling, doling out kisses
Accomplishments: Became
ambulatory and is now a connoisseur of “big people” food …expanding her
vocabulary exponentially each passing week…easily demonstrated the most growth
in the family—and it wasn’t even close…heart issues are under control…wrapped
the entire family around her little finger.
Name
(nickname): Stockton (Little Man, Buddy)
Age: Four
Occupation: The Boy
Likes: Trains,
cars, planes, sports, biking, swimming, being Daddy’s shadow
Accomplishments: Overcame
two trips to the ER with great aplomb, including an adventurous ride in an
ambulance…a walking quote machine…potty-certified…started joy school, a
computer class and Sunbeams…working hard to gain literacy proficiency…exerting
his boy-ness amongst a bevy of girls.
Name
(nickname): Tayah (Dolly)
Age: Six
Occupation: First grader
Likes: School, books, socializing, laughing,
loving life, her red hair and all it entails
Accomplishments: By
moving to first grade, doubled her elementary credit hours…bilingually blooming
thanks to her dual English/Spanish immersion program…lost her first teeth…with
Kadence, made her Jr. Jazz debut and took swimming lessons…her incredible
imagination leads to extraordinary adventures.
Name
(nickname): Kadence (Princess)
Age: Seven
Occupation: Second grader
Likes: Creating things, learning Spanish (same
program), reading, singing, big sistering
Accomplishments: Liked
her father’s glasses so much that she obtained a pair for herself…with Tayah, taking
piano lessons and attending craft club…a stellar student…reads voraciously and
has penned many literary masterpieces, even winning an award for a poem…teeming
with anticipation for her baptism.
Name
(nickname): Elizabeth (Mommy, Sweetheart)
Age: Not
saying Occupation: Mother of the
year, family CEO
Likes: Enjoying a good book, serving, exercise
and chocolate (not simultaneously)
Accomplishments: Serving
as Personal Progress Advisor in Young Women’s…not only kept four kids seven and
under alive, but thriving…played volleyball and basketball with ward teams…master
planner of and packer for several family vacations…many projects inside and
outside the house…serves on PTA board.
Name
(nickname): David (Daddy, Honey)
Age: A mystery Occupation: Donor Stewardship Officer at LDS
Philanthropies
Likes: Being a father, studying, social media,
the Celestial sport of basketball
Accomplishments: Managed
to stay awake during his monthly High Council talks; the same may not be said
about the congregations…learning patience while covering the rebuilding Utah
Jazz for the Deseret News and Salt
City Hoops.com…thoroughly enjoying his new position at work.
Miscellaneous Family Notes
·
Made
the annual jaunt to Disneyland. Mickey and Minnie knows them on a first name
basis
·
Attended
three family reunions and a week at Lake Powell, all within one month
·
Constantly
creating memories as a family through fun excursions and every-day joys. Some
challenges and learning experiences, but so many blessings—too many to
quantify.
·
Made
the bittersweet decision to build a new house in Spanish Fork, Utah. Sources
say that they are excited for change, but very sad to leave an incredible
neighborhood, ward and stake
It is apparent that the Smith family has
indeed redefined Nice. We faithfully submit this report, eager to hear the
Commissioner’s decision. Feel free to “check it twice.”
Buddy
the Elf Jack
Frost Ghosts
of Christmas Past, Present and Future Kevin
McAllister
Clarence
the Angel Lucy Moderatz Perry Como C.
Dickens
Should the Commissioner (or other
interested parties) wish to correspond with the Smiths without accessing the
chimney, their contact information is listed here.
www.smithfamilyroyalty.blogspot.com (they
may need to work on updating this more frequently)
After
February
Spanish Fork, Utah
The Committee’s findings also indicate that the Smiths love
their family and friends immensely and wish for them a holiday season full of
happiness, health and peace. It would appear that they also want to wish them
all a
MERRY
CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! (exclamation mark assumed)
